Spotting Adultery Insights March 2002

If you're aware of subliminal signals, you can tell which married people are willing to cheat.    

Subliminal signals are messages from the subconscious that tell people how to treat us. Part of self-mastery is to bring those messages into alignment with conscious intention, which really means getting honest about what's actually going on inside.  In one case, I realized a client who'd been dealing with a traumatic divorce was ready to interact with the opposite sex because all of a sudden his signals announced 'I'm male, and I wanna do it.' 

You're probably thinking every guy's energy says that, because we've been raised with stereotypes.  Why did this person's energy go from androgenous to giving off messages about an ability and willingness to engage in sexual intimacy? Because he'd stopped thinking of himself as committed to his ex.  Happily married people present a neutral sexual energy, almost androgenous, unless interacting with their spouse. Married people giving off more open messages are probably contributing to the statistics for extra-marital affairs.

It's not fair to say unhappy married people will cheat.  It is fair to say a person's subliminal signals declare their attitude about their marriage, posts the rules of their personal morality, and tells others what to send their way.  If temptation is coming, it's because it was summoned.  If you'd prefer to change what's coming your way, the first step is to discover what is in you that brings it on.  Self-Mastery is a journey of self-discovery.   

If temptation is coming to your spouse, the usual reaction is to assume your spouse is doing something wrong. That's a great way to pass the buck.  Everyone has issues, and so does everyone's spouse.  Since you can't heal your spouse's stuff, realize that something in you creates your situation.  Realize problems in your marriage are a red flag for something you need to address, too.  Change your subliminal signals to happily married by healing yourself.  That's an important step out of victim mode into empowerment.         

What are you saying to the world about your relationship? 

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