Putting the Inner Child in its Place Insights Nov 2002

If you've met your inner child, you've probably discovered pain and old wounds.  Healing old wounds is an important process.     

Enjoying today is just as important.  

Being authentic requires honesty about old wounds, to be free of their influence.  In the process, it's easy to view everything through the veil of the past, and become mired in that pain.  Here's a simple check: if you blame any unhealthy attitude or behavior on your past, you've crossed the line from healing to addiction.  You've become addicted to your wounded state. 

You're living as a victim. 

After all, your traumas were real and hard, and now you understand yourself.  Sincere congratulations on your courage.  Now it's time for the next step: taking back your personal power. Didn't you start this process to improve your life?  Don't wait until you've mastered your issues.  Life is the journey; you'll deal with issues throughout.       

If you've got a past full of pain that saturates your present, how can you live joyously?  Remember the past isn't now, it's over.  That sounds obvious, doesn't it?  In healing terms, it's not.   

Imagine that in this moment, you have a line of time that extends out from your navel into the future, and out from your lower back into the past.  Knowing that you are a different person than you were yesterday, because living yesterday had an effect, realize that there is a 'you' along every point.  One for yesterday, one for last year, and a much shorter one back further.  There are future 'you's too, but we'll ignore them for the moment.  

Imagine all those yous, getting shorter as you go back in time, right to a single-cell conception.  Every one of those yous is different than the you of today.  They are a separate entity, even though they existed in your life.  You probably know decisions made back along your time line that the current you wouldn't make.  This you is a different person.   

Any you in your past is not this you.  The things that happened to that person influence you, because of the life that connects you.  You can change that, by deciding to relegate that influencing event to the past, and to choose how you live today.  You can keep the wisdom of what you learned, and replace the pain of wounds with love and guidance.  You won't forget, but you can choose how you live. 

If you think that's impossible, stop and take a deep breath, then admit to yourself that you're holding on to that influence deliberately.  You're holding on because you think you need it, probably to protect you from something you fear.  A something that may not exist in the present.  And if it does exist, you can choose another way to protect yourself, instead of living as a victim.         

Breaking free requires putting your past in its place, behind you.  It requires acknowledging the difference between the person you are now and the person who experienced your past.  It requires making choices for how you live today. 

Are you willing to experience joy today?     

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